Hero Trainer: Choke Me With Those Thighs!
Bestowing Falna on the Kunoichi
Author:
Genre:
Status:
OnGoing
Chapters:
161
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Synopsis
I had survived. Somehow, I'd passed the graduation exam. As Iruka-sensei handed me my ninja headband, I felt a wave of relief so pure I almost cried. Finally, I was a shinobi of Konoha. My life was about to begin.
And then, right before my eyes, a semi-transparent blue window appeared.
[Soul Synchronization Complete. Welcome.]
[System: Falna Activated.]
I blinked. Then I blinked again.
"What the...?"
Before I could even finish the thought, a tsunami of another life crashed into my brain. Twenty-five years of existence in a world called "Earth." Anime, manga, video games, internet forums, and above all, an unnervingly encyclopedic knowledge of the lives of every single person around me.
My life. The life of Naruto Uzumaki. A story I had watched on a screen.
The shock was so intense I almost threw up my lunch ramen. My first kiss was with Sasuke! I saw it on a monitor, and now I have the first-person memory! And that's not even close to the worst thing that's going to happen to me!
I looked at the crowd and saw Hinata Hyuga, shy and adorable.
That's when my attention returned to that word floating in my vision. Falna. The system gave me a brief, horrifying explanation. I could turn people into fantasy heroes, boosting their abilities to absurd levels. It was the perfect tool to change the future.
There was just one small, tiny, incredibly problematic detail about the activation ritual.
My eyes landed on Hinata again, who blushed instantly.
"WHO THE HELL DESIGNED THIS POWER, A DOUJIN AUTHOR!?"
My path to Hokage is no longer about hard work. It's about exploiting my Otaku knowledge, surviving puberty a second time, and convincing the strongest kunoichi to let me... "update their status."
Sounds way better than "drawing on their backs." I guess.
/shurazero
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Possible incest, haven't decided yet.
This is a story of the "sex with a little plot, all badly written" type. So if you're a picky reader, don't even bother.
What you'll find:
Harem.
Explicit Content (R-18).
(Warning: Reader discretion is advised).
Zero-Tolerance Policy:
NO NTR! There is no sharing here.
Chapter Directory
161 ChaptersChapters 1 - 100
Chapter 1: Welcome to the Worst First Day of Your New Life
Chapter 2: The First Awkward Conversation is the Deepest
Chapter 3: The Super Secret Jutsu and Konoha’s Most Terrifying Back
Chapter 4: Portraits, Princes, and the Will of Fire
Chapter 5: Stats, Secrets, and the Weight of a Notebook
Chapter 6: The First Day and a Long Wait
Chapter 7: One Jōnin, Two Bells, and Three Fates
Chapter 8: Phase One: The Fool’s Dance
Chapter 9: Phase Two: The Uchiha’s Pride
A word from the author before you start
Chapter 10: Phase Three: The Fragility of a Flower
Chapter 11: The Weight of a Bento
Chapter 12: The Rules of a Fake Date
Chapter 13: Confessions at Dawn
Chapter 14: Cats, Bridges, and Broken Scripts
Chapter 15: The One-Hour Gamble
Chapter 16: The Weight of a Shared Secret
Chapter 17: The Unpredictable Variable
Chapter 18: The Path of Doubts and Shared Secrets
Chapter 19: Ambush and Revelations: The First Dance of Steel
Chapter 20: The Weight of Truth and a Defiant Vote
Chapter 21: The Ferryman, the Hero, and the Demon
Chapter 22: The Hero, the White Rabbit, and the Shadow in the Tree
Chapter 23: The Sensei’s Gamble
Chapter 24: The Dance of the Water Demon
Chapter 25: The Roar of the Lioness’s Heart
Chapter 26: The Puppeteer’s Dance
Chapter 27: The Water Mirror and the Hunter’s Shadow
Chapter 28: Achievement: “Demon Slayers”
Chapter 29: The Ritual Under the Moon and New Paths
Chapter 30: The First Step of a New Path
Chapter 31: The Ghost of a Hero and the Perception of a Kunoichi
Chapter 32: A Secret in the Forest
Claim My gift
Chapter 33: The Calm Before the Storm of Steel
CHAPTER 34: Fury and Precision
Chapter 35: Fog, Steel, and Sacrifice
Chapter 36: The Demon’s Eye
Chapter 37: A Demon’s Vow
Chapter 38: The Weight of a Hero
Chapter 39: The Return Home
Chapter 40: Consequences
CHAPTER 41.- Searching for Tsunade
Chapter 42: A Promise Between Shadows
Chapter 43: The Weight of an Empty Space
Chapter 44: The Eve and the Wager
Chapter 45: The Princess’s Fury and an Idiot’s Wager
Chapter 46: The Weight of a Dream and the Shadow of an Eye
Chapter 47: The Idiot’s Will and the Whirlpool’s Logic
Chapter 48: The Weight of an Empty Seat
Chapter 49: The Weight of a Whirlpool
Chapter 50: Last Bowl at Ichiraku
Chapter 51: The Sacrifice
Chapter 52: The Forest
Chapter 53: The Mark of Sacrifice
Chapter 54: The System Core
Chapter 55: The Seal Pact
Chapter 56: The Serpent’s Face
Chapter 57: A Snake’s Curiosity
Chapter 58: The Weight of Hands
Chapter 59: A Date with Shizune
Chapter 60: Friends or Foes?
What if Marvel’s darkest power chose Konoha as its home?
Chapter 61: The Survivor’s Instinct
Chapter 62: The Weight of a Duty
Claim The Gift
Chapter 63: The Alliance of the Fractured
Chapter 64: The Orange Tick
Chapter 65: A Talk in the Moonlight
Author’s Note
Chapter 66.- The Sannin’s First Lesson
Chapter 67: Equations Without Variables
Chapter 68: The Weight of Sand
Chapter 69: Consequences and Preliminaries
Chapter 70: The Lion’s Roar
Chapter 71: The Price of a Legend
Chapter 72: The Truth and the Test
Chapter 73: The Third Believer and the Price of a Hero
Chapter 74: The Weight of a Secret, the Offer of a Family
Chapter 75: Lessons on the Road
Chapter 76: Hidden Wounds
Chapter 77: The Weight of a Name
Chapter 78: The Broken Cage
Chapter 79: Echoes of Victory and Shadows of the Future
Chapter 80 : The Return of the Legend
Chapter 81: Shock Waves and Old Ghosts
Chapter 82: Shadows of the Hawk, Echoes of the Monkey
Chapter 83: Prognosis and Promises
Chapter 84: Update
Chapter 85: The Edge of a Miracle
Chapter 86: Seeds of Doubt
Chapter 87: The Meeting of Two Uzumaki
Chapter 88: Scars of Steel, Seeds of the Future
Chapter 89: The Princess and the Serpent
Chapter 90: The Council of Shadows
Vote for Tomorrow’s Updates! + A Look Ahead
Chapter 91: The First Day
Chapter 92: Divergent Paths
Chapter 93: Hot Springs
Chapter 94: The Eye of the Typhoon
Chapters 101 - 161
Chapter 95: A Pact in the Shadows and an Empty Seat
Chapter 96: Hidden Strategies
Chapter 97: Bitter Victory
Chapter 98: Let the Invasion Begin
Chapter 99: Snake Hunt
Chapter 100: Chain Reaction
Chapter 101: The Descent of Chaos
Chapter 102: The Princess’s Decision
Chapter 103: Three Masters, Three Beasts
Chapter 104: Symphony of Destruction and Healing
Chapter 105: Shukaku’s Fury
Chapter 106: The Swirl of Fury
Chapter 107: The Whirlpool’s Bond
Chapter 108: The Heart of the Monster
Chapter 109: Gods of Clay and Steel
Chapter 110: The Unbreakable Will
Chapter 111: The Scars of Victory
Chapter 112: The Broken Board
Chapter 113: Scars and Offers
Chapter 114: Tsunade Senju
Chapter 115: The Weight of a Gift
Chapter 116: The Face of the New Era
Chapter 117: The Secret Advisor
Chapter 118: Interrogation Mission! Feed the Grumpy Princess!
Chapter 119: Winds of Change in Suna! Temari’s Resolve!
Chapter 120: The Birth of the Secret Advisor! Paperwork Hell!
Chapter 121: Paperwork Hell and the Approaching Shadow!
Chapter 122: The Sannin Returns! The Akatsuki Hunt Begins!
Chapter 123: Maximum Protection Order! The Pervy Sage and the Senju Sleepover!
Chapter 124: Operation Pajamas! The Senju Fortress!
Chapter 125: The Slumber Party from Hell! Day One at the Senju Fortress!
Chapter 126: The Sannin’s Strategy! The Hell of Secret Training!
Chapter 127: Karin’s Curiosity! The Uzumaki Seal and the Secret Back Ranking!
Chapter 128: A Counselor’s Worry! A Princess’s Promise!
Chapter 129: The Lone Eye of the Hawk! The Shadow of Root Makes its Move!
Chapter 130: A Promise from Another Life! The Bait and the Spinner’s Thread!
Chapter 131: The Cinnamon Roll Mission! Ambush at the Haruno Bakery!
Chapter 132: Bait Mission! Sakura’s Fist vs. Root’s Shadow!
Chapter 133: Root’s Boomerang! The Hokage’s Fury and the Sound’s Alibi!
Chapter 134: The S-Rank Mission! Shopping in Konoha with the Grumbling Sannin!
Chapter 135: The Price of Silence! Tsunade Accepts Danzō’s Gift of War!
Chapter 136: Operation Anti-Orange! The Akatsuki’s Shadow Accelerates!
Chapter 137: The War Council! The Hidden Truth!
Chapter 138: The Sage’s Exam. The Anti Akatsuki Training!
Chapter 139: The Hokage’s Calm! The Hawk’s Shadow on the Wall!
Chapter 140: Shattered Lightning! The Legendary Sannin’s Wrath
Chapter 141: The Princess’s Fury! Unleash the Adamantine Chains!
Chapter 142: The Spoils of War! Samehada Finds a New Home
Chapter 143: The Shadow Retreats! The Ambassador of the Whirlpool!
Chapter 144: Blind Instinct! The Will that Strikes from the Shadows
Chapter 145: Shark Teeth and the Cost of Gardening
Chapter 146: Emergency Squad! The Friendly Invasion of Suna Begins
Chapter 147: Tool Mistress! The Secret of the Seal and a Dinner of Steel!
Chapter 148: Invasion at the Fortress! Pink Fury, Red Alert, and the Queen of Scrolls!
Chapter 149: Future Bets! The Ace of Hearts and the Queen of Bluff!
Chapter 150: Tactical Nap! The Secret Vegetable Garden and the Ramen Promise!
Chapter 151: Omega Protocol! The Last Update and the Noodle Promise
Chapter 152: Vertigo Speed! The Awakening of the Supply Mistress!
Chapter 153: Make Way! The Ramen Invasion and Tenten’s Supply Bombardment!
Chapter 154: Medic Duel! Sakura-chan vs. The Sand Elders!
Chapter 155: Desert Chaos! The Tour Guide is a Grumpy Princess!
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