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Synopsis
Finn, your average college student with one noble goal: get home and watch some quality adult content in peace. Tragically, fate had other plans. A truck barreled toward him… then stopped halfway. The driver locked eyes with Finn—
and hit him anyway.
Now he’s dead.
Wakes up in some divine waiting room. Gets mocked by a sarcastic, busty goddess. Gets offered the most useless powers imaginable.
And worst of all? Still no porn.
Frustrated beyond mortal comprehension, Finn throws an epic tantrum and drags the goddess down into the fantasy world with him. Now stuck in a realm full of grotesque monsters, cursed towns, and suspiciously moist terrain, Finn has no idea what he’s doing. No clue. No dignity. Suffering most of the time.
With zero powers, infinite horniness, and one very angry divine companion, can Finn survive this absurd new world?
Can he dodge death, outwit demonic squirrels, and maybe—just maybe—score a waifu?
Or will he die in this world too…
still painfully uncuddled?
Let the absurd isekai disaster begin.
[WARNING: THIS BOOK IS UNHINGED. DO NOT TAKE OFFENSE TO ANYTHING—IT’S ALL FOR COMEDIC PURPOSES. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.]
Chapter Directory
196 ChaptersChapters 1 - 100
Chapter 1: Mythic Tier Regret
Chapter 2: Lady Thighsticles and the Wolf from Child Support
Chapter 3: Respect the Trip God!
Chapter 4: My Face is Wet, My Hoodie’s Soaked, and the Slime Has Needs?!
Chapter 5: I Got Groped by a Slime and Gaslit by a Goddess
Chapter 6: Our Epic Journey Begins… In Literal Diarrhea
Chapter 7: Do Not Lick the Doorknob
Chapter 8: Three Jars Too Far
Chapter 9: Trip God Rises (and Immediately Falls)
Chapter 10: I Lost My Fertility to a Slime and Found Salvation in Holy Jiggle
Chapter 11: This Is About Boobs, Not Justice
Chapter 12: He Got Knocked Out and Still Got the Girl (Kinda)
Chapter 13: Majestic Wiggles
Chapter 14: Roasted by a Severed Head (And She’s Still Weighing Her Boobs)
Chapter 15: The Elf Girl Climaxed Into My Life Like a Perverted Forest Grenade
Chapter 16: Destiny Is Horny, and the Bridge Wants Blood
Chapter 17: Emotional Damage Must Be Paid in Full
Chapter 18: Let Your Trauma Do the Tango
Chapter 19: Dignity Is for the Fully Clothed
Chapter 20: The Bridge of Passive-Aggressive Damnation
Chapter 21: Troll Talk: Now Featuring Emotional Baggage!
Chapter 22: Stop Whispering My Kinks, You Leafy Perverts!
Chapter 23: Trial of Inner Face
Chapter 24: Motorboating My Trauma
Chapter 25: No One Insults My Divine Rack
Chapter 26: The Virgin Trial: Failure in Every Sense but Technically a Pass
Chapter 27: One Small Trip for Man, One Giant Fall for Wizardkind
Chapter 28: Beard Man and the Trip God Ascend
Chapter 29: Our Hero Begins His Ascension… Straight Into a Trap
Chapter 30: My Goddess Got Eaten by a Box and the Elf Is Jealous
Chapter 31: I Made a Promise to a Pervert and Now She’s a Hero
Chapter 32: I Accidentally Seduced a Treasure Chest and Now She’s in Love With Me
Chapter 33: Hentai Logic Has Entered the Chat
Chapter 34: So Apparently There’s a Race of Hot Shapeshifting Chests
Chapter 35: Epic Magical Firewall Installed Successfully
Chapter 36: When the Cute One Becomes a Urethra Demon — Now I must protect my Jewels
Chapter 37: Don’t Talk Dirty to the Goddess Unless You Wanna Die Horribly
Chapter 38: The Rooftop Battle of Absolute Morons
Chapter 39: The Poultrypocalypse Begins
Chapter 40: Ten Trips to Power: The Buffoon Ascends
Chapter 41: Poultry Hit the Tower!
Chapter 42: Wiggles Ultimate Take Down™
Chapter 43: Hazaa! …Oh God My Spleen!
Chapter 44: I Helped Kill a Demon Chicken and All I Got Was This Confused Boner
Chapter 45: We Did Not Have Sex, Thank You Very Much!
Chapter 46: Clock Magic, Cursed Yoga, and the Rise of Horny Monks
Chapter 47: The Rearranger
Chapter 48: She Wrote What?!
Chapter 49: I Got a Cool Freakin Hat Yo!
Chapter 50: A Time of Peace, Thank God!
Chapter 51: Demon Lord? Sounds Like a Skill Issue
Chapter 52: So, Do I Just Trip the Demon god?
Chapter 53: Crossing the Bridge Was a Mistake (Again)
Chapter 54: The Divine Stranglehold of Love (and Violence)
Chapter 55: My Sanity Was Healed by Thighs and a Slap
Chapter 56: How Can you Mess up That Badly?!
Chapter 57: Mythic Tier Mistake
Chapter 58: Toast to Ardin’s Cock—Wait What?
Chapter 59: Not All Heroes Deserve a Room Key and Three Coins
Chapter 60: Daddy, Why Are Your Swimmers Dead?
Chapter 61: Only the Shadows Understand… Gravity
Chapter 62: Who the Hell Leaves Lore Lying Around Like This?
Chapter 63: I’m Not Ready for the Foot Route
Chapter 64: Decide Where we Sleep—Not Speak of Feet!
Chapter 65: Death by Thighs, Tea with a Bunny
Chapter 66: Death, Hugs, and Feet: The Essentials
Chapter 67: A True Fool
Chapter 68: You are Signing Me up to Be Your Pleasure Slave!
Chapter 69: S Stands for Snuggles!
Chapter 70: Party of Three and a Walking Lawsuit
Chapter 71: Soup Before Sterility
Chapter 72: Fantasy Maps and Emotional Slaps
Chapter 73: The Fork in the Road and Other Poor Life Choices
Chapter 74: What is Making That Schlurping Sound?!
Chapter 75: Knives, Thighs, and Terrified Guys
Chapter 76: I Have no Voice and I Must Scream
Chapter 77: The Art of Playing Dead (Poorly)
Chapter 78: Do NOT Touch the Goddess’s Hair
Chapter 79: Haus Silbertraum: Sounds Exotic, It’s Just German
Chapter 80: Majestic Wiggles: A Name to Forget
Chapter 81: Finn’s Internal Cry for Help (He is Losing His Sanity)
Chapter 82: It Grabbed my Balls…
Chapter 83: How to Traumatize a Protagonist in One Scene
Chapter 84: Another Quest for This Tired Adventure!
Chapter 85: Into the Slimehole
Chapter 86: Earth Maybe in a Galaxy Far Far Away
Chapter 87 - Where Everyone Forgets How to Sleep Normally
Chapter 88: I Do not Want Your Slime Kebab!
Chapter 89: And Into the Slime Cavern They Go!
Chapter 90: Into the Goo Abyss
Chapter 91: If It Bubbles, Run
Chapter 92: The Slime That Should Not Be
Chapter 93: I have a Plan Lickthorn!
Chapter 94: Punch First, Grieve Never
Chapter 95: Where Did the Goo on Her Hands Go?
Chapter 96: Plot Armor vs. Terminal Stupidity
Chapter 97: By the Holy Ovaries of Celestia
Chapter 98: Operation: Don’t Drown in Cave Jizz
Chapter 99: All I Have Left Is One Slimy Bean
Chapter 100: Infertile but Not Defeated
Chapters 101 - 196
Chapter 101: A Spermful Tale and The Top Four Material
Chapter 102: Centipede Roofs and Slime Fetuses
Chapter 103: The City Beneath the Slime
Chapter 104: I have a plan Seraphina!
Chapter 105: Buffers Are Vital to the Party!
Chapter 106: That’s the Last Time I Eat Gas Station Sushi
Chapter 107: The Epic Struggle of Finn and Seraphina!
Chapter 108: Praise the Blessing, Beat the Blob
Chapter 109: Slime Roses and Creepy Clues
Chapter 110: This is How Idiots Die, But Damn She’s Pretty
Chapter 111: My Fertility Was Stolen by a Jelly Queen
Chapter 112: Queen of Jealousy, Lady of Slime
Chapter 113: Queen Lysithea Parts the Slimy Sea
Chapter 114: A Wet and Wild Rescue
Chapter 115: Boob Fortress vs. Acid Slime
Chapter 116: Bigger Pervs in the Sea
Chapter 117: Dumpster Priestess Chic
Chapter 118: Dumpster Priestess, Slimy Queen, and Useless Me
Chapter 119: Tactical Retreat
Chapter 120: Slime’s Got Your Back (Literally)
Chapter 121: Clogged Toilet, Slightly Less Clogged Toilet
Chapter 122: My Slime Girlfriend Dumped Me (With Gifts)
Chapter 123: Property Disputes
Chapter 124: The Harem Seagull Feeding Frenzy
Chapter 125: Interrogation and Impending Doom
Chapter 126: The Maid’s Report
Chapter 127: Haus Arrest
Chapter 128: The Containment Tent
Chapter 129: Don’t Bite the Protagonist
Chapter 130: The Cook Who Licked Too Much
Chapter 131: Majestria’s Foot of Judgment
Chapter 132: The Most Dangerous Accessory
Chapter 133: The Worst Night of His Life (Not Mine)
Chapter 134: Please Don’t Put Your Ass on My Face
Chapter 135: Symphony of Chaos
Chapter 136: I Need to Run My Errands!
Chapter 137: The Road Back to the Womb
Chapter 138: I Got my Fertility Back, but at What Cost?
Chapter 139: One Last Adventure to Moistvile
Chapter 140: One Hundred Villagers vs. Finn Wiggles
Chapter 141: Chaos in the Guild Hall
Chapter 142: The Majestic Wiggles Get Wiggled
Chapter 143: Hands of Hypocrisy
Chapter 144: From Mob Trial to Maid Trial
Chapter 145: Stop Splashing Me With Weird Substances!
Chapter 146: Stop Hitting Me in the Darkness!
Chapter 147: The Swamp’s Secret
Chapter 148: We’re All Screwed, Just So You Know
Chapter 149: Moistvile on the Brink
Chapter 150: The Rumbling
Chapter 151: I Am a Space Wizard
Chapter 152: Precarious Platform Showdown
Chapter 153: Legendary Showdown Nobody Will Remember
Chapter 154: Hands Off My Neck, Pretty Boy
Chapter 155: From Chest to Champion
Chapter 156: For Survival Reasons!
Chapter 157: Get In Me Again!
Chapter 158: Finn Wiggles vs. Civilization
Chapter 159: Mommy..?
Chapter 160: What Are you People Saying?!
Chapter 161: Ranking My Party by Bitchiness
Chapter 162: Stop Cockblocking Me, I’m Trying to See the Hot Priestess
Chapter 163: When the Goddess and the Priestess Start Catfighting
Chapter 164: The Kaiju’s Scary, But Women Are Worse
Chapter 165: Hell Above, Hell Below
Chapter 166: The Tripping Storm
Chapter 167: Let’s Regret This
Chapter 168: Chernobyl Pigeons and Muddy Regrets
Chapter 169: Do Not Be Distracted by the Giant Wing!
Chapter 170: RahRah My Balls
Chapter 171: I Swear I Don’t Strangle Women
Chapter 172: Bow Before Your Bratty Queen
Chapter 173: Staff Wars and Muddy Desires
Chapter 174: The Second Sun, and My Unexpected Baptism
Chapter 175: Eyes Meet Doom
Chapter 176: How to Command Armies with Zero Experience
Chapter 177: Confessions of a Firestorm
Chapter 178: Complete Penetration
Chapter 179: Prepare for the Strike
Chapter 180: Clash of Titans
Chapter 181: Catapulted by a Goddess
Chapter 182: Throat Goat (But Not the Fun Kind)
Chapter 183: The Womb Raider
Chapter 184: The Zit That Fights Back
Chapter 185: A World Beyond
Chapter 186: The Naked Mortal Banquet
Chapter 187: Daddy’s Third Death Anniversary
Chapter 188: The Aftermath of One Eye
Chapter 189: Between Lust and Rot
Chapter 190: Assaulted by the Almighty
Chapter 191: Stop Sitting on My Head!
Chapter 192: Don’t Jump on the Mystery Cocoon!
Chapter 193: Incoming!
Chapter 194: The Head of the Problem
Chapter 195: Please Stop Emerging from Body Parts
Chapter 196: Snake MILF and the Mouth Monster
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