"You set me up!" I raged, whirling around in this space. I wanted to glare, to stare her down, but that would burn my eyes out. There was no darkness here and no respite, nothing restful or peaceful in this place. This void was hostile. It dragged and punished. No endless interstellar spaces here- this was a black hole that took all light from the universe and compressed it, until the pressure was intolerable. "He hates me now! All your fault!"

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Both my hands pressed to my eyes, all I had was my voice to convey to her how pissed I was. I could snarl but it lost its meaning. I could frown but without my eyes that is must a pout. I could not take my hands down to shake a fist. This endless ceaseless light robbed me of my expressions, scoured away the emotion I wanted to convey.

This was not just the void of space, that pulled away at you with its own emptiness. This was the opposite, this void pushed at you to empty you out. You could never fill this void, you could only join it.

"You can't say anything? Won't defend yourself?!"

My voice vanished without echo, like shouting at a hushed snowfield. But no temperature here, no sense of it. Nothing so real and meaningful as cold or discomfort existed in this place without space. Every inch of my skin was exposed to the equivalent of a high-power halogen lamp, and if the goddess's protection did not keep me from feeling the conditions of the void, I would be incinerated under all this light.

I did not care that she was protecting me right now. That all she needed to do wasignore me harderand I'd melt like a Peep in a microwave. She picked a world that she knew I loved, to be the sister to a boy with a wonderful soul, and she set me on a path that brought me to him askingwhy I'm still here.

She was the one that sent me like that. She could have changed anything. Chosen a different class for me. Not invented the Untethered Essence condition. Given me more knowledge, or less knowledge. Held me back to be a little sister in a couple years. She could have left me where she found me. Or, she could have let me submerge into the depths of an infant's soul, to be less than a dream. Instead she threw me at him, and then dragged me back.

She could have stopped the terracotta warriors entirely. It was within her power to end all of this conflict. She had the power to make all this better and shechose not to.

The trolley problem does not apply to gods. They're responsible for everything whether they intervene or not.

"I know you can hear me! I know you're just ignoring me! This is your house, bitch, you're right here in front of me, right? You're a god, omnipotent, but there's no omnipotence without omniscience and omni-presence! You can hear me, you're right there, you're just smirking at me like a kid with a wounded bug!"

She's not answering. She is laughing at me. She wants me to think that she's not here but she is. She wants me to feel foolish for stepping into an infinitesimal void to yell angrily at nobody. She wants me to think I'm spending my wrath just futilely yelling at an empty room.

That my anger doesn't matter.

But humans hurting always matters. That's a rule. Even if it's alone or unknown, it always matters. If nobody knows about a tear and it is forgotten even by the eyes that shed it, that tear is important.

She can ignore that. She can forget that. That's what her void is. The space where nothing matters. That's why she lives here, so she can ignore the world where things matter.

"You're cruel! Just senselessly awful, hurtful! You are mean without meaning! This whole domino rally Rube Goldberg cascade of awfulness, just because you like the funny sounds we make! And you- you even put your face to it! So I would always remember the goddess that did this! You didn't just wind me up to go hurt people and be hurt in turn, you made sureI would know who to blame. So that I would never forget that this was intentional! So I could never just retreat into stoic ignorance! You put your name and your face to this so that I would know who to hate! I don't want you to turn my hurt into anger! It's mine! I felt it! You have earned my hate but that doesn't mean you deserve it!"

My arms were not enough to keep the light out. It seeped through the cracks and thin places. It burned at my eyes and made them water. The tears fell free of me, and when they stopped beingmeand started beingthemselves, the void burned them to tiny bursts of superheated steam. Salt was crusted on my eyelids.

"These aregood people!And that matters! More than you do! You're not a greater power! You're just a vandal!"

... she didn't really give me the keys to her house, did she. This void, it's not where she lives. It's not her kitchen. Void is an idea, a phenomenon. It's not a place, by definition. There's nothing so singular about it as that. At best, at the most, she's given me some Fisher-Price toddler's play-house version of her void. A doghouse, a back shed. If she lives in this void, I've got at best a cat-flap entrance.

There was never any chance she would treat with me as an equal. She did not send me to Hearstwhile with the tools to actually hurt her or annoy her. All of this is just serving her purpose.

It was time to leave.

One last thing. "A real goddess would care," I said, and opened the portal.

Source: Webnovel.com, updated by lotustale.com