13 - 7
The Gods are Bastards“It wasn’t much of a town, but it was what I had. After living in the capital, I actually let myself think things would be different out here. Quieter. More…decent, somehow. More fool, me. The truth follows you everywhere you go, the fact that people, all people, are exactly the same: no damn good. Human nature covers everything like a thin, greasy film of mold. Serves me right for thinkin’ I was safely out of the business.
“I knew the lady was gonna be trouble the second she walked in, and not just ‘cos I’ve developed a healthy skepticism toward pretty girls wearin’ gold ornaments. No, you survive in the dirty business as long as I have, you justknow.Even before they open their mouths, even before they give you the chance to appreciate the sway in their walk, that little voice pipes up in the back of your head, warns you: ‘this one’s trouble.’
“You better believe I listen to that voice. I learned the hard way, it’s never wrong.”
“What thehellis he doing?” Tellwyrn demanded incredulously, turning to the desks at which the other two men present were seated.
“Oh, if you onlyknewhow many times a day I ask myself that question,” Moriarty muttered, not looking up from whatever he was writing.
“He appears to be narrating,” Finchley said helpfully. He was lounging comfortably in his seat, currently in the process of folding a paper glider.
Fedora grinned insouciantly and swung his legs off his desk, bounding upright. “Hey, I gotta practice! I’m planning to write a novel. I wasgonnawrite my memoirs, but I got to thinking and everything interesting I’ve ever done is actually classified, or would tip off some very annoyed people who to come hunting for. There’s totally a market for detective fiction, but everybody’s publishing frontier stories right now—”
“Don’t quit your day job,” Tellwyrn said brusquely, “and I’m not just saying that as the person who pays you to do it. Moriarty, no offense, but what are you writing?”
“Incident report. Nothing serious, Professor, just Chase putting glue on our office chairs. I wasn’t even going to suggest a punishment; in his case there doesn’t seem much point.” Moriarty finally looked up, blinking owlishly. “Wait. Why would I be offended?”
“Because what you’re doing is aimless busy work, and everybody but you can see it at a glance,” Fedora informed him. “I encourage this, Professor; if he doesn’t have something todo,he startscleaningthe place, and that actually does get in the way, unlike the paperwork. Besides, having records actually can come in very useful. You never know.”
She shook her head. “I’m almost afraid to ask, but…where’s Rook?”
“On gate duty,” Moriarty grumbled. “Which is to say, having a nicenap.”
Tellwyrn regarded him in silence for a long moment, which he did not notice, being absorbed in his writing again. Finchley paused in his folding, looking uncertainly up at her, while Fedora leaned against his desk, watching with an expectant little grin.
“It’s good to have you home, boys,” Tellwyrn said finally, cracking a small smile.
“Good tobeback, Professor!” Finchley replied brightly.
“You.” She pointed at Fedora. “With me. I want a word.”
“I am yours to command!” he declared, bouncing upright. She snorted and brushed past him on the way to the stairs.
The guardhouse, in keeping with Tellwyrn’s somewhat gothic taste in architecture, came complete with a battlemented watchtower rising a full story above the rest of the structure. It was even with the top of the old campus wall, and afforded an excellent view of both the construction underway in the new extension, and down the mountain and across the prairie below Last Rock. Fedora followed her all the way up the winding stairs without comment, and leaned carelessly against the crenelated wall when they arrived, folding his arms and watching her expectantly.
“This is new,” Tellwyrn said, running her hand along the telescope mounted on the wall. “What exactly did you plan to do with it?”
“Give business to the lens grinder who the town blacksmith hired,” he said cheerfully. “And, more importantly, form a connection and be seen supporting local industry. Mission accomplished. I mean, it’s good for playing pirate and not much else; I figured you’d object if I had it mounted facing the campus.”
Tellwyrn turned to him and planted her fists on her hips. “I’m embarrassed to admit I didn’t realize what you were up to until I had the kids safely in Puna Dara.”
“They all settled in, then?”
“They’re fine,” she said curtly. “More to the point, they’re collectively a force which held back a demon invasion. Even without Shaeine and Trissiny, those students arenothingto be taken lightly. Which means anyone looking to attack this campus in any way would have todealwith them first. Just because I acknowledge the reality, Fedora, does not mean I want you taking steps toencouragean assault on my University,especiallywithout consulting me first!”
“That actually wasn’t the point,” he said, his tone and expression serious now. “My thinking was that anyone planning to attack the campus would need toremovethem first, and with all respect to your teaching methods, that particular group doesn’t dosubtlevery well. The Sleeper outmaneuvered them; the kinds of forces we’re dealing with definitely could. Taking them off the campus removes the likelihood of somethingpermanentbeing done to them before they can react. And more importantly, Professor, they aren’t the keystone of this campus:youare. So long as you’re around and in charge, nobody’s going to launch anything too aggressive.”
“But,” she said, narrowing her eyes, “getting them to launch something aggressive is what you say we want.”
He nodded. “When the time comes, however. Whenwe’reready. Getting the sophomores out of the way protects them and gives us the power to determine the timing of this future confrontation. Now, all we have to do to create an opening is sendyouoff the campus.”
“Like we just did,” she snapped. “If you expect me to leave the defense of my students entirely toyou—”
“Give me credit for a little basic sense!” he protested.“Hell,no. Depending on what might be coming at us, thelastthing I want is to be dealing with it and not have you around for backup. Thepointis that we can fake them out. You can teleport across the world in an instant and I’msureyou have some measures for illusion and stealth in your arsenal. Bombastic bully or not, I can’t imagine you get to be called ‘archmage’ without having at least that much versatility. When the time comes, we let it beknownthat you’re away, the point being that you’ll be back to spring the trap.”
“Hm,” she grunted, folding her arms. “When the time comes…?”
“We’re nowhere near that point,” he said seriously. “I’m following the rumor mill in town; nothing but murmurs there, at the moment. No sign of unrest among the students, just concern for the Sleeper victims and ongoing efforts to wake them. I can’t get jack shit out of your new research fellows, which is to be expected considering most of them are career politicians, but we have to keep in mind that at least some of those are likely to be enemy agents. But nah, it’s far from time. I need to see a general shape for what’s coming before I can plan countermeasures. I’m still watching, Professor, don’t worry. I expect things to start moving fast once you officially announce that demon-summoning project.”
“Fair enough, I suppose,” she said grudgingly. “Butwith that said,Fedora, you arenotto go over my head like this. If you make plans, I am to be includedbeforethey are enacted. Is that clear?”
“Now, hold on!” he objected, holding up a hand. “I wasn’t expecting the sophomores to move out that fast—if anything, I’m concerned about the timing. If they straighten out Puna Dara and get backherebefore we getoursituation dealt with, we’re back at square one with additional complications. We were in front of some of the very people we don’t want knowing about this when I warned you they were moving, and you vanished before I could get you alone. I didn’t even know you were back on campus until you walked into my office just now. Believe me, Professor, I’m pretty comfortable working under somebody who comes and goes as she pleases, but if you expect me to keep you appraised of all ofmymovements, you’re gonna have toworkwith me here. It’s just not in my power to follow you zip-zap all over the continent at a whim.”
“I amstillnot getting you a Black Wreath shadow-jumping talisman,” she said flatly.
“I don’t know how much that would help in this instance,” he replied, “since you can’t shadow-jump to apersonwithout being familiar with the landing spot, but for the record a number of my other projects would be aloteasier if—”
“No,”she snapped, then sighed and moderated her tone somewhat. “Still… Point taken. I can work to be a bit more accommodating, but so can you.” She pointed accusingly at him. “I know you didn’t gorightfrom getting Raffi Chandrakeran drunk to that meeting; there was time for you to fill me in. If you’re planning anything that’s going to involve manipulating my students, I want to know about it as soon as the plans are somewhat formed. Understood?”
“Yes, ma’am!” He came to attention and saluted. After a moment, under her stare, he sighed and resumed his habitual slouch. “I’m working against habit, there… In Imperial Intelligence, paperwork is such a fact of life it’s almost a given you do whatever you can get away with in order to get anything done. And needless to say, none of my previous employers…”
“You work formenow,” Tellwyrn said flatly. “This wasyouridea. You can either do it my way, or I can send you right back where you came from.”
“Oh, your way it is, no question,” he said, raising his hands in surrender. “I just have to overcome some old habits, is all. But don’t you worry, Prof. I amnothingif not adaptable!”
The Punaji royal family apparently had breakfast in the open air when the weather permitted; at least, that was where the palace servants directed the princess’s classmates as they wandered out of their rooms in the morning.
Juniper was the last to arrive, and she brought a surprise.
The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.
“Look!” the dryad squealed, entering the wide balcony bunny-first. She had a firm grip on Jack and held him out in front of herself, while the jackalope squirmed and kicked impotently, clearly displeased with this state of affairs.
“June,” Ruda said in a strained tone, “what thefuckis thatfuckingrabbit doing here?”
“That’s a rabbit?” Anjal asked, tilting her head and frowning. “It’s huge. Are thoseantlers?”
“He’snota rabbit, and youknowit,” Juniper said reproachfully, re-settling Jack into a more comfortable position in her arms and stroking him soothingly. He stopped attempting to flail, though his antlers continued to jab her in the cheek, which seemed not to bother her. “It wasn’t my idea, I just found him in my room last night along with a note from Tellwyrn that Stew has better things to do than take care of him.”
At the head of the table, the pirate king cleared his throat. Rajakhan “Blackbeard” Punaji was an enormous man: tall, powerfully muscular, and with a spreading middle-aged gut atop that. His bushy eyebrows and even bushier namesake beard added to his imposing aspect, the effect not in the least diminished by streaks of gray. His voice, even in a discreet cough, was like the growling of a bear.
“I seem to recall reading that jackalopes are notoriously ornery creatures,” he rumbled. “Would this happen to be related to my seneschal declaring first thing this morning that she refuses to have the staff clean that room? I thought she was just afraid of getting eaten by a dryad.”
“Idon’teat people,” Juniper said defensively, tightening her grip on Jack, which caused him to kick again. His powerful hind legs gouged at her chest hard enough to bruise and draw blood, had she been human; she didn’t appear even to notice. “And I’m sorry about that. Jack is my druidic familiar, my first one, and he’s pretty wild; I’m still training him. Don’t worry, I will be responsible and keep him out of trouble, and I can clean up my own room. We do back at Clarke Tower.”
“Glad to hear that,” Anjal grunted, casually seating herself on her husband’s knee. Not a large woman to begin with, the juxtaposition made her look positively tiny. “I worry about little Zari getting spoiled at that place.”
“I can honestly say thatthatisn’t one of the things you should worry about,” Gabriel assured her. Beside him, Teal heaved a sigh.
“Hm,” Rajakhan grunted, absently wrapping an arm around his wife while giving Gabriel a flat look. “This is the one Zari stabbed?”
Ruda sighed heavily and gazed up at the sky.
“That’s me, sir!” Gabriel said cheerfully.
“I thought it wasfuckingstabbed,” Fross added, hovering in front of him. “You usually make a big deal about that part.”
“Well, I’m in the middle of breakfast, here. One should never whine on an empty stomach.”
The king turned his baleful stare on his daughter. “I thought these people were your friends. You can’t play as roughly with shorelanders as you would with Punaji, Zari. And I wouldn’t want you stabbing one ofourpeople, either.”
Ruda pursed her lips for a moment before replying. “Arquin is a half-demon, Papa. He’s practically invulnerable. Pain and surprise make him transform—or they did, before he went and got all paladinized. So yes, I put a blade in his foot to make him flare up and spook the White Riders’ horses to get rid of them.”
“I see.” Rajakhan’s dark brows lowered further. “And you couldn’t justfightthese men because…?”
“Yes, we coulda taken them,” she snapped, banging a fist on the table. “Easily! It was me, Arquin, and two paladins. But we were standingrightin front of occupied houses and they had wands. Bystanders woulda been shot, or at least had their homes burned. I got rid of the fuckers without causing collateral damage.AndI apologized,andI bought him new shoes.”
“Fair’s fair,” Gabriel agreed with his mouth full. “Ireallylike these boots, Ruda. Very comfy, now they’re all broken in.”
“Mm.” Rajakhan nodded, seeming mollified, while Anjal gazed up at him in clear amusement. “Very well, that sounds like a good maneuver. So why do you apparently always complain about it, boy?” He frowned at Gabriel, who blinked in surprise. “Sometimes a man has to take one for the crew. It’s nothing towhingeabout.” He broke off as his wife stuck a forkful of fish into his mouth, and gave her a sour look, but chewed obediently.
“Oh, don’t get on Arquin’s case,” Ruda said, scowling. “He’s a good guy to have at your back. It’s a running joke, is all.”
The king swallowed, still frowning, and demanded, “Andwhois Ruda?”
She sighed heavily, shoved her plate away and thunked her forehead onto the table.
“Relax, Raja,” Anjal said lightly. “A girl goes off to college and wants to reinvent herself, it’s completely normal. It’s not as if she’s raising a flag of rebellion against the crown.” She affectionately tugged at his beard. “Or marrying the captain who did so.”
“I hear you two hadquitethe courtship,” Teal said with a smile, looking somewhat less wan than she usually did these days. “I’d love to hear that story right from the source.”
Rajakhan coughed heavily. “Well, regardless. According to Tellwyrn,youlot are here tohelpus solve our problems, which we apparently can’t be trusted to do on our own.”
Ruda raised her head. “Papa,Ibrought them with me. These are myfriends,and every one of them is a badass. I know what I’m doing.”
“Ialsoknow what you’re doing,” he growled. “And just because Tellwyrn chose to save face by endorsing this project doesn’t mean you weren’t running away from your responsibilities and butting in.”
“Now, see here,” she snarled, beginning to rise from her chair.
“Actually, your Majesty,” Toby said quickly, “we were hoping to get your take on this Rust issuebeforewe start doing anything. Prince Raffi was very concerned about what’s happening here, but he’d been away from Puna Dara for a few weeks by the time we talked to him.”
“You called my brother a prince?” Anjal asked with a distinctly malicious grin. “To hisface?I’m sorry I missed that.”
“No, he didn’t,” Ruda said, sinking back into her chair.
“Idid,” Gabriel added. “Only the once, though.”
Anjal winked at him. “I’ll bet.”
“The Rust are not the first to try this gambit,” Rajakhan growled, “and I doubt they will be the last. The Punaji respect strength and straightforwardness, and mistrust those with ambition toward power. Others, other cults and rich people and captains, have done this very thing: carefully gathered a base of support to make the crown seem weak while toeing the line and doing nothing that provides a reason to move against them. It’s a fool’s plan. Even those who have succeeded in seizing power this way did not hold it long. We are a people who donottolerate leadership that would rather play politics than actually govern. We have strong and healthy traditions to ensure this.”
“What happened to the Fourth Silver Legion changes the matter,” Anjal added seriously, even as she folded fish and curried rice into a piece of warm flatbread. “There is noproofthat the Rust did this, but the circumstantial evidence is overwhelming. It is known that the Legion was coming here to keep an eye on them. No one else had a motive to attack Avei’s soldiers this way, and with those machine parts some of them wear, the Rust are an obvious suspect in any magical attack that has no precedent. No one understand how they work.”
“Is the suspicion not enough to move against them?” Toby asked.
The king blew out a snort, ruffling his beard. “Exactly—that’s their scheme. I have all the reason I need to root them out, and yet they’ve shown themselves capable of striking down the finest soldiers in the world, invisibly, from a distance. How can I fight this? And yet, every day that goes by, I make the crown look weaker due to my inaction.” Anjal leaned against him, and he accepted the flatbread sandwich from her and took a bite, chewing with a grim expression.
“And that isexactlywhere we come in,” Ruda said firmly. “I don’t know what the Rust are capable of and I donotgive a fuck: we can take ’em. We’ve stood against hellgates and zombie uprisings, centaurs, bandits, what-the-fuck-have-you. I’m the princess of this country, and you guys are withme.So long aswedeal with this, it doesn’t undercut Papa’s rule. It shows Puna Dara has the means todealwith its enemies as hard as they deserve, whatever they throw at us.”
Despite her defiant countenance, both her parents looked pensive.
“I’ve been thinking about this myself,” Gabriel said, frowning and pushing his plate aside to lean on the table. “And I think we need to berealcareful not to fall into old habits, here. Considering the other civilized places where we’ve been sent to help…well, this situation is very different on abasiclevel. Sarasio, Lor’naris, even Veilgrad, all had in common that their societies were beleaguered and the leadership was fragmented, incompetent, or non-existent. We had to step in, basically take over, and organize folks to be able to look after themselves once we were gone. That’snotthe case here.” He nodded to the king and queen. “The Punaji have their shit together and I haven’t heard anything to suggest the government here is less than competent. This is dicey because we’re dealing with an enemy of unknown capability, and the big problem is we can’t afford to antagonize them in the wrong way because that risks destabilizing Puna Dara. But that’s the issue: Puna Daraisstable, and once the Rust is out of the way, it’llstaystable. This is a lot more straightforward than out other adventures.”
“In fact,” Toby said slowly, “this seems more like classic adventurer stuff than what we’ve dealt with before. It’s just an enemy to defeat.”
“Um.” Fross bobbed in place above the table, chiming almost diffidently. “I don’t mean to alarm anyone, but the way you describe it, what we’ve gotta do is remove the Rustsubtlyand carefully with a minimum of noise and mess, and let’s be really honest with ourselves, guys… That is not exactly our strong suit.”
Juniper sighed heavily. “I really miss Shaeine right now.”
Teal had been staring at the table; at that, she suddenly lifted her head. “I need to visit the Narisian embassy.”
There was a pause while everyone stared at them.
“There’s a Narisian embassy here?” Gabriel asked finally.
“Of course,” Anjal said, raising an eyebrow. “Tar’naris isveryinterested in maritime trade, now that it’s suddenly a possibility for them. They have an embassy here and consulates in all our cities along the east coast, as well as a presence in Onkawa, Ninkabi, and Tidecall.”
“It’s just like Shaeine did when we went to Tiraas,” Teal continued softly. “I’m the Matriarch’s daughter; within House Awarrion, I outrank the ambassador here. In order to avoid causing a political problem for her, I just need to put in an appearance and make it plain I am at her service, so there will be no question who is in charge among the drow in the city.”
“Um,” Juniper said uncertainly, scratching behind Jack’s antlers, “well, that’s…”
“I wasn’t changing the subject,” Teal said firmly. “It’s the same thing. We came here with Ruda; we need to be seen, in public, making it clear we’re acting at her request. That way, anything that happens is clearly credited to her, and doesn’t look like there’s a random bunch of adventurers taking over in the city. Plus, as the princess, she has deniability; her actions will reflect on the king, but if it becomes necessary to distance the crown from anything we do, we’re nottechnicallyacting on his orders. It gives the royal family a little wiggle room, politically.”
“I appreciate the direction of your thoughts,” Rajakhan rumbled, “but it doesn’t quite work that way, here. If Zari causes trouble, thatwillreflect on me—the more so if I am seen as unable to control my own daughter.”
“I see,” Teal said, looking down at her lap.
“You’re not wrong, though,” Ruda said firmly, reaching over to squeeze her shoulder. “Idoneed you guys to publicly take my side. And, with apologies to everybody’s pride, let it be known that I’m calling the shots.”
“I don’t think anybody here is going to let their pride trip us up,” Toby said with a smile.
“So, then,” Anjal said, “whatexactlyare you planning to do?”
A pause ensued, in which they looked uncertainly at each other.
“I was afraid of that,” Rajakhan grumbled.
“Actually,” Fross chimed, “it seems sort of obvious to me. The core problem is we don’t know what these Rust are capable of and it’s too risky to antagonize the lot of them with an overt attack. So! What we need to do is secure a sample for study.”
“Whoah,” Toby exclaimed. “Asample?These are people, Fross. We can’t just abduct one and…anddissectthem!”
“Excuse me,” said Ruda, raising a finger, “but just for the fuckin’ record we canentirelydo that.”
“I wasn’t proposing todissectanybody!” Fross exclaimed.
He sighed. “Well, thank goodness forthat,I guess.”
“Exactly,” she chimed. “I mean, that would be creepy and unethical, and also probably not informative. Really, we just need to dissect the mechanical parts! If I can figure out what makes those work I bet I can learn alotabout their magic and how to counteract it!”
Toby heaved a long-suffering sigh and slumped down in his chair.
“So it’s a matter of strategy, then,” Gabriel said cheerfully. “Howdoesone seize and dismantle a half-machine cultist? Maybe they’ll freeze up if we dunk one in the harbor? I figure they call themselves the Rust for a reason…”
“Actually, that’s a nickname that they’ve acquired in the city and not bothered to argue with,” said Anjal. “It’s not the actual name of their cult.”
“Oh?”
“They’re far too pretentious for that,” she said, curling her lip disdainfully, “though they at least have the basic discretion not to swagger too much where the public can see; Punaji wouldnotbe impressed by it. Their proper name is kept discreet, but we’ve made very certain to be kept informed of their doings. Among themselves, they are the Infinite Order.”
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