The speakeasy’s clock struck midnight—then kept striking.Seventeen times.

Zara groaned, her raccoon ears flattening."Either I’m drunk, or time’s broken."

"Both,"Lilith muttered, her quill scratching furiously."Mammon’s partnered with Chronos’ Loan Sharks. They’re accelerating ourexistential debt."

A notification burned in the air:

[ TIME DEBT INCOMING: 10 YEARS COMPOUNDED ]

[ EFFECT: Rapid aging, memory loss, bad haircuts ]

Seraphina’s armor creaked as she aged mid-stride, her platinum braid streaking silver."Fix. This. Now."

Nishanth cracked his neck."We’re robbing Time’s Vault. Steal back our years—with interest."

Zara lunged for atime crystalon the table—only to freeze as it morphed into agiant truffle.

"What the fudge?!"

Lilith snorted."Karmic blowback. You stole from aCandylandwarlock last week."

"It was one gummy dragon!"

"Now everything you steal turns to sugar."Nishanth tossed her achocolate dagger."Sweet, right?"

Zara hurled it at a rustling shadow."I’ll murder you in your sleep!"

[ NEW DEBUFF: "SUGAR RUSH" – Zara’s speed +50%, IQ -90% ]

The Temporal Bank was ahourglass skyscraperfilled withsands of timeinstead of gold. Guards patrolled withpocket watchesthat could erase seconds from your life.

Lilith hacked the security system."We’ve got 10 minutes before they compound our debt again."

Seraphina charged, her sword now awalking cane(thanks to aging)."Keep up,old man."

Nishanth, now silver-haired and scowling, lobbedtime grenades(overdue notices)."Zara! Distract the guards!"

Zara pirouetted, flingingchocolate shurikens."Eat dessert, losers!"

The guards slipped onmelted caramel, screaming as their watches short-circuited.

[ AGE STATUS: TEAM AVG. 75 YEARS OLD (BUT SPICY) ]

Lilith froze at the vault door."There’s a...festivelock."

The mechanism was agiant snowglobefilled with screaming elves.

"Santa’s Naughty List,"Lilith hissed."I audited it once. He’s a tyrant with a cookie addiction."

Zara grinned."You? Scared of Santa?"

"He knows my SIN number!"Lilith blasted the lock, unleashing asugarplum explosion.

Inside,time itselfwas stored inglowing hourglasses. Nishanth grabbed theirs—but a shadow laughed.

Mammon leaned against a sleigh, eating milk and cookies."Aw, you met my new partner?"

Santa Claus emerged,red suit singed,beard on fire, holding achainsaw candy cane."Ho ho... oh no you don’t."

[ FINAL BOSS UNLOCKED: "KARMIC KRINGLE" ]

Santa’s chainsaw candy cane revved like an angry reindeer."YOU’RE ON THE NAUGHTY LIST!"he bellowed, sending frosting-spray with every word.

Zara ducked behind a melting gumdrop wall."Okay, new plan: we die!"

"Not happening."Nishanth’s aged hands (now sporting liver spots) flicked golden coins at Santa’s boots—instant ice skates. The jolly tyrant face-planted into apeppermint minefield.

Lilith groaned."Why is heliterallyindestructible?"

"Christmas magic,"Seraphina wheezed, leaning on her sword-cane."Also, he’s drunk on eggnog."

A notification popped:

[ BOSS WEAKNESS: "HOLIDAY CHEER OVERDOSE" ]

[ SUGGESTION: Kill him with kindness ]

Zara’s raccoon tail had puffed to twice its size from adrenaline (and sugar). She vaulted over agingerbread turret, snatching aunicorn lollipopfrom a fleeing elf.

"Got the cure!"She took a bite—andblinked."Oh. It’s just kale-flavored."

Herchocolate cursereversed in a glittery burst, but now she spoke inhealth nut slogans."Carpe diem! Let’s organic-ize this jerk!"

Nishanth facepalmed."Worse. Somehow worse."

Lilith faced Santa, her ledger trembling."Fine! I embezzled 12% of 2018’s Christmas spirit! Happy?!"

Santa paused mid-chainsaw-swing."...just 12%?"

"I had student loans!"

The Krampus whistle around Santa’s neckshattered from sheer disappointment.

[ SANTA’S MORALE: CRITICALLY LOW ]

[ LILITH’S GUILT: REDUCED BY 50% (STILL A DEMON) ]

Nishanth seized the moment, lobbing agolden stockingstuffed with:

IOUs from the Tooth Fairy

Easter Bunny’s gambling debts

A photo of Mammon stealing Santa’s cookies (2016)

Santawept hot cocoa tears."I just wanted to believe insomething..."

Zara patted his back."It’s not you, it’s capitalism."

With asleigh-explosion of shame, Santa vanished in a puff oftax-deductible glitter.

The team’s stolen yearswhooshed back, de-aging them—except Nishanth kept hissilver fox streaks("They’re tactical").

[ TIME DEBT: SETTLED ]

[ NEW PERK: "Festive Immunity" – No holiday-related curses for 1 year ]

Acelestial subpoenaexploded into the speakeasy, showering everyone in glittery legal jargon.

"Nishanth von Valtros et al.,"it boomed,"you are hereby sued for...existential defamationandemotional damages."

Zara, now wearing akale-leaf headband, gasped."We should settle out of court! Maybe do community service!"

Nishanth flicked kale out of her hair."What did that lollipopdoto you?"

Lilith skimmed the document."Mammon’s taking us to the Cosmic Court of Infinite Jurisdiction. Trial starts yesterday."

Seraphina’s eye twitched."Time travel lawyers. Fantastic."

Zara’swholesome curseescalated. She’d replaced all their alcohol withkombuchaand hung motivational posters:"Stealing is just borrowing without consent... which is wrong!"

"This is hell,"Lilith muttered, sippingsparkling algae water.

"Embrace growth!"Zara chirped, reorganizing stolen gems into acharity donation pile.

Nishanth snapped."Fix. Her. Now."

Lilith sighed."We need the Candyland warlock. He’s... retired. Runs a vegan bakery now."

[ QUEST ADDED: "Unicorn Lollipop Detox" ]

The courtroom was ablack hole in a powdered wig. The judge? Asentient gavelwith a British accent.

"Order! Order or I’ll charge you with contempt...of reality,"it thundered.

Mammon lounged at the plaintiff’s table, dressed in askintight pantsuit made of lawsuit filings."Your honor, the defendantsruined my brand."

Nishanth leaned back."Your brand’s a pyramid scheme. I have spreadsheets."

"Irrelevant!"The gavel-judge glared."Proceed, Ms. Mammon."

Mammon smirked."I call my first witness: Santa Claus."

The back doors burst open. Santa trudged in, chainsaw cane in hand,therapy reindeertrailing behind.

"They... they hurt my feelings,"Santa sniffled.

[ COURTROOM MORALE: CRUMBLING ]

Seraphina stood abruptly."I object."

"On what grounds?"the gavel-judge snapped.

"Conflict of interest."She removed her helmet, revealingpointed elf ears."I was Santa’s lead toymaker in 302 B.C. He owes me87 billion yearsof back pay."

The courtroom gasped. Mammon’s smile died.

Lilith pounced."Your honor, this proves Santa’s ahostile witness! He’s avoiding labor lawsuits!"

The gavel-judge vibrated angrily."Santa’s credibility is...compromised. Case dismissed!"

Mammon’s scream shook the cosmos."I’LL APPEAL TO THE SUPREME GOD OF TAXES!"

Back at the bakery, the warlock—nowBryan, Vegan Artisan—handed Zara agluten-free lollipop."This’ll reverse the curse. Maybe."

Zara bit it."Tastes like existential dread."

Her raccoon tail poofed back to normal."Ugh, I feel filthy. Who wants to rob a bank?!"

Nishanth grinned."Welcome back."

[ DEBUFF REMOVED: "KALE KARMA" ]

[ ZARA’S THIEVING SPIRIT: RESTORED (WITH EXTRA SASS) ]

Mammon stared into avoid mirror, clutching ablack credit cardetched with Elder Gods’ runes.

"Fine,"she whispered."If I can’t own reality... I’llcancelit."

The card’s hologram displayed:

"APOCALYPSE LOAN APPROVED. INTEREST RATE: ∞%. DUE NOW."

[ FINAL WARNING: "DEBT-TO-EXISTENCE RATIO CRITICAL" ]

The sky cracked like a bad credit score. Mammon’s voice boomed from the void:

"APOCALYPSE LOAN ACTIVATED. COLLATERAL: ALL REALITY. PAYMENT DUE: NOW."

Nishanth’s vault alarms blared."She’s foreclosing onexistence itself."

Zara tossed achocolate grenade(still kale-free, thankfully) at a collapsing building."So... we just die?"

"Not today,"Lilith snarled, her quill carving ahellish escape portal."We’re crashing her repo party!"

Seraphina’s elf ears twitched."I know where she’ll be. The Eternal Stock Exchange—where she’ll trade our souls for cosmic leverage."

[ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ]

[ FINAL MISSION: "SHORT-SELL THE APOCALYPSE" ]

[ REWARD: Bragging rights (if you survive) ]

The portal spat them onto afloating trading floorwhere angels in gray suits crunched numbers. At the center stood theIRS Angel, a towering figure with:

Feathers made of tax forms

A flaming calculator sword

Glowing audit-beam eyes

"NISHANTH VON VALTROS,"it intoned."YOU’VE FAILED TO REPORT INHERITED GODHOOD INCOME."

Zara ducked behind a stock ticker."Can we bribe it?!"

"No,"Lilith said."But we canitemize deductions."

Seraphina charged, her sword-cane now aholy receipt spike."I’ll claim charitable combat expenses!"

[ BATTLE START: ANGELIC ACCOUNTANTS VS. TEAM CHAOS ]

Zara slithered past the IRS Angel, her raccoon tail swipingoffshore account codes."Hey, Taxzilla! Missed a decimal point!"

The Angel’s calculator sword glitched."ERROR. ERROR."

Nishanth tossed Zara adiamond-encrusted USB."Upload the Black Swan Algorithm!"

She jammed it in, and the Angelshort-circuited into a kitten meme.

"Aww,"Zara cooed."Still gonna rob you."

[ IRS ANGEL: NEUTRALIZED ]

[ TEAM MORALE: +100% (TAX-FREE) ]

Mammon awaited them on athrone of black credit cards, her dress now aliving hurricane of debt contracts.

"Pathetic,"she sneered."You can’t stop a force majeure clause!"

Nishanth stepped forward, silver streaks gleaming."You forgot one thing."

"What?"

"I always read the fine print."He snapped his fingers.

Tax Evasion emerged, holding theunicorn lollipopdipped inholy printer ink."This voids your loan! Bye, Karen!"

She stabbed it into Mammon’s throne.

The Apocalypse Loandissolvedinto confetti. Mammon screamed, unraveling intoworthless monopoly money.

[ FINAL NOTIFICATION ]

[ MAMMON: LIQUIDATED ]

[ REALITY: SAVED (FOR NOW) ]

Back at the speakeasy, the team celebrated withstolen celestial champagne.

Zara looted Mammon’sblack credit card."Souvenir!"

Seraphina stared at her elf ears in a mirror."I need a drink. And a chainsaw."

Lilith toasted Nishanth."You’re still the worst client ever."

"But you love me."

"Shut up."

Aglowing subpoenamaterialized.

"NOTICE: THE SUPREME GOD OF TAXES HAS APPEALED."

Nishanth smirked."Round two?"

[ TO BE CONTINUED ]

Source: Webnovel.com, updated by lotustale.com