The speakeasy’s walls shuddered as ablack-hole briefcasematerialized, vomiting out a thousand scrolls stamped"URGENT: FINAL NOTICE."

Nishanth picked one up."’Failure to comply will result in asset forfeiture, soul repossession, and... mandatory community service?’"

"Worse,"Lilith said, her voice tight."He’s here."

The air crackled as theSupreme God of Taxesdescended—a towering figure in a charcoal-gray suit, his face a shifting mosaic of tax codes. His briefcase hummed with the gravitational pull of a dying star.

"Nishanth von Valtros,"he intoned,"your fiscal recklessness has destabilized cosmic equilibrium. You are hereby...audited."

Zara snorted."Can’t audit us if we’redead!"She lunged, swiping his tie pin—which immediately burst into a Broadway rendition of"Tomorrow"fromAnnie.

[ DEBUFF ACTIVATED: "ZARA’S SHOWTUNE SWAGGER" ]

[ EFFECT: All stolen items now sing show tunes at max volume ]

The God snapped his fingers. The speakeasy morphed into aKafkaesque office labyrinth—endless cubicles, flickering fluorescent lights, and the scent of despair.

"Welcome to the Eternal Audit,"he said, vanishing."Escape... if your deductions add up."

Seraphina kicked a filing cabinet."I’ll take dragons over paperwork."

Lilith traced a claw over a spreadsheet."These aren’t numbers. They’repredatory algebra. Solve wrong, and we’re taxed into oblivion."

Nishanth grinned."Zara, steal a calculator. Lilith, hack the system. Seraphina... break something expensive."

[ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ]

[ NEW QUEST: "SURVIVE TAX SEASON" ]

[ REWARD: A lifetime supply of loopholes (maybe) ]

Zara jammed asinging staplerinto a printer, creating a cacophony of"Phantom of the Opera"meets paper jam."This sucks worse than kale-lollipops!"

"Use it!"Nishanth tossed her atax form shield."Distract theQuill Demons!"

She backflipped over a swarm of ink-splattered monsters, her stolenaudit quillbelting"Cell Block Tango". The demons paused, mesmerized.

"Now, Lilith!"

Lilith’s claws flew across a keyboard."Override code:Alimony-666."

The labyrinth shuddered."CODE ACCEPTED,"droned a robotic voice."WELCOME BACK, MRS. TAXES."

Nishanth raised an eyebrow."Mrs. Taxes?"

Lilith glared."Don’t. Ask."

They burst into a vault filled withglowing 1099 formsandsentient staplers. At the center floated theGod’s Heart—a diamond-shaped ledger pulsing with raw fiscal power.

Seraphina hefted her sword."Let’s crack it open."

"No,"Lilith said quietly."He’s vulnerable to...empathy."

Nishanth blinked."You’re joking."

"I wish."She stepped forward."Remember our honeymoon? You cried duringSchindler’s List."

The God materialized, his tax-code facade flickering."That... was irrelevant."

"You donated 90% of your soul to charity that year,"Lilith pressed."You cared. Before you became... this."

The Heart quivered.

[ GOD OF TAXES: VULNERABILITY DETECTED ]

[ EXPLOIT: "UNFILED EMOTIONS" ]

Nishanth snatched the Heart, his System flaring."Let’s see...Charitable Donations: 0. Emotional Connections: 0. Soul: Depreciating."

"Reboot him,"Zara said, tossing Lilith aUSB labeled "Feelings.exe".

Lilith jammed it in. The God screamed asrainbow spreadsheetsoverrode his code.

"NO! MY... MY BALANCE SHEETS!"

The labyrinth collapsed, spitting them back into reality. The God’s briefcase clattered open, spillingforgotten memories—a photo of him and Lilith at ataxidermy gala, laughing.

[ GOD OF TAXES: NEUTRALIZED (TEMPORARILY) ]

[ TEAM MORALE: CONFUSED BUT VICTORIOUS ]

Back at the speakeasy, Zara nursed a stolen margarita."So... we just gave God a therapy session?"

Lilith burned the photo."He’ll be back. But now we know his weakness."

Seraphina polished her sword."Next time, I’m stabbing first."

Nishanth studied the Heart, now a harmless paperweight."We need bigger guns. And quieter heists."

A new scroll appeared:

"NOTICE: YOUR TAX EVASION HAS BEEN... CREATIVE. LET’S DISCUSS. —THE VOID."

A figure cloaked instaticmaterialized in the speakeasy, holding a scroll that smelled likeburnt spreadsheets.

"The Void offers paradise,"it rasped, voice glitching."No taxes. No debts. Just...simplicity."

Nishanth leaned back, tossing a hellcoin."What’s the catch?"

The envoy’s form flickered, revealing ablack-hole smile."Nothing complex survives. No contracts. Nochoices."

Zara snorted."Hard pass. I like my chaos extra chunky."

The static intensified."Then perish with yourcomplications."

The envoy vanished, leaving asinging scrollthat warbled"Imagine"by John Lennon—off-key.

[ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ]

[ NEW THREAT: "THE VOID’S SIMPLIFICATION" ]

[ PROGRESS: 0.5% OF REALITY ERASED (R.I.P. BELGIUM) ]

Zara crept through asoundproofed vault, her raccoon tail twitching. The mission: Steal theSilent Daggerfrom a mime assassin who’d already stolen12 legendary artifacts... without making a peep.

She spotted it—a blade so quiet, it absorbed sound waves. Perfect for countering hershowtune curse.

The mime appeared, miming aninvisible wall. Zara rolled her eyes."Oh please, I invented this sc—"

Aninvisible fistknocked her into a stack ofsilent bells.

"Okay,jerk,"she hissed, flinging aglitter bomb(now magically muted). The mime slipped on the sparkles, and Zara swiped the dagger—

—which immediatelyerased her voice.

[ NEW CURSE: "ZARA THE MUTE" ]

[ EFFECT: Can only communicate via interpretive dance ]

Lilith stared at herhidden vault, filled with:

Santa’s cookie addiction logs

The God of Taxes’ karaoke recordings("Livin’ on a Prayer", off-key)

Mammon’s search history("How to cry prettily", 12,000 results)

"You kept receipts?"Nishanth said, impressed.

"Divorce tips,"Lilith muttered."The Void wants these. They’re leverage against every cosmic entity."

Seraphina frowned."Includingyou."

A notification blared:

[ VOID PROGRESS: 5% – DELETED: TAX FORMS, BEIGE, THE CONCEPT OF ’WEDNESDAY’ ]

The team confronted the Void in its realm—ablank white expansewhere the ground hissed"simplify... simplify..."

"Join me,"the Void glitched, now resembling agiant eraser."No more audits. No morenoise."

Nishanth grinned."Counteroffer."He whipped out Lilith’s blackmail files."Delete us, and I leakeverything."

The Void shuddered."...negotiations accepted."

[ VOID PROGRESS PAUSED ]

[ TEMPORARY TRUCE: "UNTIL THE GOD OF TAXES RETURNS" ]

Seraphina approached Nishanth, holding adusty elven relic."My people’s last artifact. It...complicatesthings."

He raised an eyebrow."How?"

She smashed it. The air filled withglittering chaos—new taxes, loopholes, and a fresh IRS branch.

The Void screeched."NO! TOO MUCH PAPERWORK!"

[ REALITY RESTORED: 100% (INCLUDING BELGIUM) ]

[ NEW PROBLEM: "ELVEN TAX CODE" ]

Back at the speakeasy, Zara gestured wildly, miming her hatred of mimes.

"We get it,"Lilith sighed."They’re the worst."

Nishanth toasted."To complexity!"

A scroll dropped:

"NICE TRICK. SEE YOU IN COURT. – THE GOD OF TAXES"

The ocean floor was littered withcrumbling tax formsandkelp-covered calculators. Zara, still mute, gestured frantically at a coral reef shaped like agiant W-2. Nishanth sighed."The siren’s scream iswhere?"

Lilith pointed to a neon sign:

"IRS AQUATIC DIVISION: NO SWIMMING DURING AUDIT SEASON."

A school ofpiranha accountantscircled them, led by ajellyfish auditorwith glowing tentacles.

"Distract them,"Nishanth mouthed to Zara.

She rolled her eyes and launched into an interpretive dance titled"I Hate Mimes."The piranha paused, mesmerized by her jazz hands.

[ ZARA’S DANCE SKILLS: CRITICAL HIT ]

[ DISTRACTION SUCCESSFUL (FOR NOW) ]

The siren’s scream was stored in apearl the size of a minivan, guarded by akraken with a briefcase.

"That’s... new,"Tax Evasion muttered, adjusting her snorkel.

Zara mimed a plan:Steal the pearl, swap it with a glitter bomb, flee before the kraken notices.

"Brilliant,"Nishanth deadpanned."If you die, I’m deducting your funeral costs."

Zara flipped him off, diving toward the pearl. The kraken’s tentacle snapped up—but Seraphina speared it with aharpoon made of tax liens.

"Go!"she mouthed, bubbles swirling.

Zara grabbed the pearl—and her voice exploded back in a deafening shriek:"ABOUT DAMN TIME!"

[ CURSE BROKEN: ZARA’S VOICE RESTORED (VOLUME: 11/10) ]

[ KRAKEN STATUS: PISSED ]

Lilith stood before the God of Taxes’ new office: a skyscraper built fromoverdue notices. She clutched the karaoke tape labeled"Honeymoon Horror."

"You kept receipts,"the God sneered, his form flickering between accountant and storm cloud."Pathetic."

"You keptfeelings,"Lilith shot back, slotting the tape into a boombox.

The God’s voice warbled through the speakers:♪"I... I will always loathe youuuu...♪*

His tax-code facade cracked."TURN IT OFF!"

Lilith advanced."Admit you’re a fraud, or I leak this to theCelestial Tabloids."

The God roared, unleashing apaper tornado, but Lilith stood firm."I’ll always be your worst deduction."

[ GOD OF TAXES: EGO DAMAGED ]

[ LILITH’S SATISFACTION: MAXIMUM ]

Back at the speakeasy, the team faced a new hell:Elven Tax Day.

"Why are there 12 forms forbreathing?!"Nishanth yelled, buried under parchment.

Seraphina grumbled,"Elves love bureaucracy. And glitter."

Zara, voice restored, belted"I Will Survive"while shredding documents."Call this a write-off!"

Lilith, nursing a hell-wine, smirked."Just wait for thequarterly estimated guilt payments."

[ REALITY GLITCH: THE VOID WHISPERS"SIMPLIFY..."IN THE WALLS ]

The static envoy reappeared, flickering like a bad Zoom call."Your chaos is... entertaining. But temporary."

Nishanth tossed asinging staplerat it."Tell your boss we’re not done."

The envoy dissolved, leaving a single word etched in the air:

"SOON."

[ VOID PROGRESS: 10% – DELETED: PAPERCLIPS, THE COLOR BEIGE (AGAIN) ]

Zara collapsed onto a stolen beanbag."Next time, let’s rob somethingsimple. Like a dragon."

Seraphina sharpened her sword."Dragons are less paperwork."

Lilith raised her glass."Tocomplications."

Nishanth grinned, flipping open a new scroll:

"NOTICE: YOUR APPLICATION FOR ’BEST FANTASY TAX EVADERS’ HAS BEEN DENIED. APPEAL? Y/N."

The speakeasy flickered like a dying lightbulb. Walls melted into static, and half of Zara’s margaritaceased to exist.

"It’s back!"she yelled, dodging a patch of void that erased the concept ofelbow joints.

Lilith cursed, slamming her ledger shut."The Void’s accelerating. It’s deleting anything ’complicated’—likedoors,sarcasm, andcredit scores."

Nishanth tossed her aglitching gold coin."Then let’s give it a migraine."

[ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ]

[ VOID PROGRESS: 15% – DELETED: STAIRS, THE NUMBER 7, LEFT SOCKS ]

A roar shook the speakeasy as adragon with bifocalscrash-landed, clutching aflaming audit notice.

"NISHANTH VON VALTROS,"it hissed, smoke curling from its nostrils."YOU FAILED TO REPORT DRAGON HOARD INCOME."

Zara grinned."Finally, afunaudit!"She lunged, swiping adiamond-encrusted tax formfrom its claw.

The dragon sneezed, torching the bar."RESISTANCE = PENALTIES + INTEREST."

Seraphina stepped forward, sword raised."I know this dragon. It incinerated my convent."

"Correction,"the dragon said."Idepreciatedit."

[ BATTLE START: TEAM CHAOS VS. TAX-BREATHING DRAGON ]

Zara vaulted onto the dragon’s back, stabbing theSilent Daggerinto its scales."Give me your loot or—"

The blade flashed, and the dragontransmuted into solid gold—along with Zara’s hand.

"Uh... this isn’t part of the plan!"She wiggled her golden fingers."Cool, though."

[ NEW CURSE: "MIDAS MISHAP" ]

[ EFFECT: 10% chance to turn stolen items (or limbs) to gold ]

Lilith stormed into theCelestial Court, slamming the karaoke tape onto the judge’s bench."Your honor, I present Exhibit A: The God of Taxes singing’Careless Whisper’while drunk on eggnog."

The courtroom screens flickered to life. The God, in reindeer pajamas, warbled:♪ "Guilty feet have got no rhythm..." ♪

"OBJECTION!"the God screamed, his tax-code armor cracking.

Lilith smirked."Move to dismiss all charges... or this goes viral."

The judge—a sentient gavel—sighed."Case dismissed. And someone get me earplugs."

[ GOD OF TAXES: PUBLICLY HUMILIATED ]

[ LILITH’S REPUTATION:DEVILISH QUEENTRENDING ]

Tax Evasion hacked the Void’s core with apirated copy of Windows 95."Eat malware, you overgrown eraser!"

The Void glitched, desperately trying to delete.jpeg artifactsandpop-up ads.

"NO! TOO... COMPLICATED!"

[ VOID PROGRESS: HALTED AT 20% – DELETED: SPAM EMAILS, NFTs, TIKTOK DANCES ]

Seraphina faced the golden dragon, her blade at its throat."Why my convent?"

The dragon’s gemstone eyes dimmed."You housed a holy relic... which I needed to offset capital gains."

Nishanth tossed it atax forgiveness scroll."Work for me, and I’ll write it off."

The dragon melted back to flesh, sighing."Fine. But I want dental."

[ NEW ALLY: "TABITHA THE TAX DRAGON" ]

[ SKILL: "Inferno Audit" – Burns fraud to ash ]

As the team celebrated, the static envoy flickered one last time.

"You win... this round,"it glitched."But simplicity always prevails."

The speakeasy’s door reappeared—but now it was ablank white rectangle.

Nishanth kicked it open, revealing afeatureless void."Next time, bring better threats."

[ TO BE CONTINUED.... ]

Source: Webnovel.com, updated by lotustale.com